Postsecret: The show

Listening to now…


Last night, I went to the show version of Postsecret.

If you don’t know what Postsecret is, it is:

“An ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. Your secrets, posted here, every Sunday.”

Postsecret site

 

The show we went to was basically 3 actors, telling the story of how it all started and reading secrets people actually sent in. There were also voice recordings of people reading their secrets and a very talented guitarist in the background for ambiance.

 

 

My friend and I have been long time followers of the secrets, so we had to go. We laughed and cried- mostly cried. What I found amazing was how many people sent in secrets about suicidal thoughts they were having and how many lonely people out there just felt relief to have someone to read their secrets. Many said that post secret actually saved their lives. 

 

:friends post secret

 

I suppose we are all just looking for someone to listen to our stories. favorite.jpg

Struggles of a Jack Russell

 

When you get so tired from sleeping all day, that you end up just sleeping the rest of the day, too:

tubby tired.jpgmunchy tired.jpg

When mom gives you this yummy people food but you have to pick these pebble things out of it….

tubby food.jpgmunchy food.jpg

When you get a new toy and wanna be friends, but are overcome with such desire to rip him to shreds:

tubby toytubby toy happy

When you wanna do your yoga in peace, but everyone keeps taking pictures of you….

squish yogasquish yoga 2

When you pull up to the lake and know you own it:

IMG_6190.JPGIMG_6185

But there’s other dogs and people there so you must always be on guard.

IMG_6187.jpgSAM_1782.JPG

When you’re just trying to do normal things and your owners always need pictures of you:

 

Trying to sleep be like…IMG_5884.JPGIMG_6922IMG_6106

Trying to swim be like….IMG_5915IMG_6158

Trying to enjoy the holidays is always like…IMG_7588IMG_7596

 

Starting over

music note.pngListening now….

                         What happens if you want to start over? 

 

My mind is telling me to take a chance, go back to school. I started, that’s a step. [Goals, with gratitude: part 2]

But i want more-   I want to dedicate my time to this.

You know those people who have known they have wanted to be a doctor, a veterinarian, whatever it may be, since they were a little kid? As long as they can remember.

That was never me. 

Figuring out what I want to do with my life has been a roller coaster for me, it was never straight forward and is still not. My path has alternate routes I can take- and sudden unpredictable sharp turns that take my mind on a spin daily.

I started out at my community college when I was 18, studying human services. My biological father had bipolar disorder that went untreated and he self medicated, resulting in my sister and I losing out on the opportunity to know who he was- and eventually lose him altogether. This, combined with my insatiable desire to watch as many episodes of Intervention as possible,   I thought I wanted to be an addiction counselor. I thought maybe I can help others who are trying to help their family members not go down the same spiral-and I think in a way I wanted to make Kevin proud, too.

My crooked path went a little something like this:

Human services-Early childhood education-Communication disorders-finished off with sociology because I enjoyed the classes, they were easy, and I wanted to finish my degree and get something.

I think I felt this feeling or urgency, I was 18, everyone was in college, I needed to get a degree. No regrets that I did- I just wish I took more time to sit down and think-

What do I really enjoy? What makes me excited about life and what am I good at?

 

Right now, I work as a case manager in a nonprofit organization. I have learned so much there and I am good at my job. Not just about the job, but about myself too. I have realized something-

I have a tendency to get frustrated with those who don’t help themselves. And although I get my point across, do what I need to do,  and enjoy it a lot of the time,[Very thankful to have a job I like]- People are just not my forte. 

Some people just have that knack for people and saying the right things to get them to open up, sometimes I can succeed at this-but it’s something I work on a lot, because it doesn’t come natural to me like to some others. But these skills, if you can build upon them, you can and will take them everywhere with you.

 

It’s time for me to explore the things I love and I am good at- I would love to do a double major in graphic design and veterinary tech-I took a computer graphics class last winter and really enjoyed it and felt good at what I was doing. I am in a vet tech class right now and feel excited in the class, and find everything I am learning about to be so interesting. I don’t really remember feeling this excited when I was in school before!

 

By the way, Alice always had it right.

We’ve all been there. Have you ever wanted to start over on something? Are you on the path you want to be or because others want you to?

 

Shamelessly obsessed

As if I needed another thing to be obsessed with, I have found Showtime’s Shameless.

I’ll let google explain the premise of the show:

“Oscar-nominated actor William H. Macy stars as Frank Gallagher, a single father of six who spends much of his free time drinking at bars. The Gallagher children — led by oldest daughter Fiona (Emmy Rossum), who takes on much of the child-rearing responsibility due to her mother’s absence — manage to raise themselves in spite of Frank’s lack of parenting and unusual parenting style when he does choose to act like a father. The drama is an adaptation of the BAFTA Award-winning British show of the same name.”

shameless pic.jpg

Via:

My boyfriend got me hooked- the very first episode I knew. In my opinion, this show is really underrated. I had heard about it before, but not much. After watching I couldn’t believe I had never known! It’s only on showtime, but luckily there’s this wonderful phenomenon called the inter web.

Here are some reasons you should be watching, too:

  1. Frank.

Frank shameless.jpg

You just have to watch to understand Frank. His hilarious drunken antics mixed with his want to still be involved in his family, coupled with his naive misunderstanding of why he is not father of the year. Frank spends most of his time at the bar, buying drinks with his disability checks or thinking of creative ways to keep his disability checks flowin’ so it keeps the beer flowin’, too.

2.  It shows the struggles of real life, a modern day yet unconventional family, and the power of women.

fiona gif.gif

Pretty much explains it…

You have got to admire Fiona’s ability to take on a household of 6 kids without her absent mom and drunken dad Frank- I also love Emmy Rossum and she is such a classic beauty. I find her relationship with Frank interesting- it seems she has just learned to cope with him, she will let him sleep drunkingly on her living room floor after she just spent the whole day taking care of his kids and still tuck him in. Not sure how she does it. But she also has enough spitfire to tell Frank or the kids what they need to hear. She’s just trying to keep everything afloat while dating a bad boy and making some time for herself, too. [Well, trying].

She’s pretty much a modern day Wonder Woman.

fiona 2.gif

3. It’s honestly just a good time.  You will be laughing, a lot. You will be admiring the Gallaghers for how they band together in times of need and always manage to get by any quirky situation, just in the nick of time.

fucking gallaghers.gif

You will understand this. When you begin your binge. 

So begin.

 

 

We have our days

music noteListening now…

Last week, I did a post called The hustle and bustle of us

I was having a different monday perhaps than now.

It just made me think of how we just have our days.

I didn’t wake up as cheery as last Monday and didn’t feel as inspired at work or about a blog post to write, even.

Don’t get me wrong- I wanted to get out of bed and start my day and my week; but i felt more like this today: Delicate.

The seasonal sadness hit me a little harder today as I struggled to stay warm, it was bitter out. I still had a good day and it’s not over yet- I’m just happy to be home.

But we have our days and that’s okay. This is only human, we are not stagnant. We change like the seasons and our feelings, thoughts, and emotions shift day by day.

“Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.” 

It’s mid January and [some of us] are freezing- how do you all cope with your winter mental health? Maybe we can help each other out.

For me lately it has been:

Tea

Blogging

Planning [Goals, with gratitude]

Watching good shows-[Downton Abbey and Shameless!]

Staying cozy- more time inside to relax

Keeping up with my exercise- even if it’s only once a week, I feel a lot better.

Thinking about my future and my goals

 

Looking forward to this:

But in the meantime, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goals, with Gratitude: Part 2

music noteListening now…

(Just found this and I am obsessed)

 

 

Awhile back, I did a post called Goals, with gratitude and felt really inspired after to make this a series of upcoming posts.

I talked about how it is hard to be grateful without having goals, too. After all, many of the things we have gratitude for are positive outcomes of goals we have created for ourselves and not only created, but that we have met.

This past sunday [Sundaze], I ended my weekend by writing down my weekly goals, gratitudes, and began planning my week in my planner. Laying out the week ahead on a sunday night helps me begin the hustle and bustle of my Monday on a calming and positive note.

I like reviewing my goals at the end of the week when it seems like the past 5 days have been crazy, have flew by, and yet- sometimes I still feel like I did not get a lot accomplished. Yet, looking back, I always feel better about that. Confidence boost!

This past week, my weekly goals looked a little something like this:

Checked off are the ones I have completed.          hands clapping

Weekly Goals:

unnamed.jpg

check mark.pngGo to the gym Tuesday: I went Thursday- I felt so much better afterwards. It was a good gym session where you just get into your own zone with your headphones on and manage to get a lot done. Yay!

Pay rent and save money: Oops. I live at home and my mom takes rent and puts it away for me into a fund for my first place. [Thanks mama]  Even though I didn’t do this this week, it will get done next week. You’ll see from the goals below that my week got a tad expensive….

check markMeditate:  I did a small morning guided meditation from a youtube video while laying in bed in the morning. Even though I wasn’t sitting up alert, it still felt great.

Call therapist: I have been on a little hiatus from therapy. I have been going consistently for about a year now, but have missed a few weeks. Sometimes when you go every week for that long, it honestly just feels like a little break is needed. This will get added to the list for next week, too!

check markGet school sorted out. I have been wanting to do something with animals for awhile now. I have applied to every ASPCA and sanctuary job out there with no luck (yet). I think I would love to do some sort of animal advocacy job someday, and I figured, why wait around anymore. So I enrolled myself in an Introduction to Veterinary Technology class at my local community college and will work full time at my current job, while attending this class and paying out of pocket. I start Tuesday and my first school bill has been paid and books have been picked up! We will see what happens, but I am excited and knowledge is never wasted. I kind of want to take a web design class too- always exploring; learning.

[Hence why rent was not paid this week]

 

Goals I have accomplished that were not on my list include: deep cleaning my entire room and bathroom, consistent blog posting, getting a lot done at work.        hands clapping

 

Weekly Gratitude: 

  • Waking up at 7 am to let the puppies out and seeing this-

Light snow was drifting, and suddenly- I didn’t care that it was 7 am on a saturday or how tired I was. I cared about the moment in front of me; inhaling it like a breath into a fresh lung. The unexpected and un-forecasted little surprises life drops at our feet, right when we need it like soft snow falling right when we wake. Convinced someone may have sent this moment right to me…

How did you know?

grat5grat6grat1grat4grat3.jpggrat7.jpg

  • Opportunities and the ability to adapt who we are at any given time. 

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

-Eric Roth, The curious case of Benjamin Button

school books.jpg

  • Discovering new music; thanks Spotify “discover weekly”
  • Wine.
  • Quiet time
  • A flexible job that I enjoy and allows me to go to school too; a job that allows me to pay to better myself and pay for things in general. 
  • Blogging. I never expected it would be this consistent. I never expected it would even last this long. I never thought that it would make me feel creativity I may not have known I had before. I never knew it would make me feel this good about myself and my abilities and bring me this amount of comfort.

 

How are your goals and gratitude going? I hope well. It feels good to look back on your week and know that you are a better version of yourself than the week before.

 

Thanks for reading!

XOXO

 

 

 

 

A letter from your introverted [hermit] friend

Listening now….


Dear friend,

It’s been awhile, I know.I hope you read this in a happy place and maybe understand more about me in the end.

You probably know this about me- but when I need me time, I go all in. After all, I need ample time to play my sims, watch my you tubers, watch Downton abbey, color in my stress relieving coloring book, research things on google, browse Netflix for an hour only to watch nothing and fall asleep, play with my dogs and talk to them like humans, etc….etc.

Also it’s winter- cold out, dark earlier, I haven’t seen you as much. It’s harder for me now- some days I come home and just want to curl up, with my hobbies, and alone- more than usual. You are probably thinking, oh great, it will be even harder to get you out of the house now!

Perhaps you are right.

However, I promise the time will come for me to leave my humble abode and accompany you to whatever social gathering you may have to drag me to [perhaps kicking and screaming, just give me a little wine beforehand-I’ll be fine]

Funny enough, it may have been my idea originally to leave my little space[I’m thinking to myself-it’s been awhile, I probably should go somewhere….]- only to bug you an hour after we get there to see if you are ready to leave yet.

Thank you for being patient, is all I can say.

Thank you for not being a high maintenance friend- and understanding that if I don’t text you/ hang out with you in a few weeks, I promise I still love you and want to see you.

Thank you for forcing me to do things when I don’t want to- we all need friends like that.

Thanks for letting me play Sims when we hang out [and not judging me……too much]

Thank you for understanding, accepting me, and loving me for who I am- and not trying to change that.

XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hustle and bustle of us

Listening now….wind chimes out my window. Dogs snoring. Quiet.

It’s Monday again. I am awoken by nothing at all; 5 am. I somehow welcome it.

I read others thoughts for the day and find much solace in their words, almost as if what I am reading found me this morning in a mirror of exactly what I needed. Thank you all, whoever you are out there bringing me peace.

It got me thinking- people dread their weeks, why? I am guilty of the same, but on days like this when I awaken and have quiet moments to myself before the hustle and bustle begins- I embrace it.

I think this is what we need, the quiet before the storm. Time to ourselves before the hustle and bustle of us takes over. I think we all need to listen to the wind chimes more and see what they have to say to us.

There is a reason I was awoken at 5 am to listen to them and to read others words.

Promise me you won’t dread your days or wish the week away, okay? Let’s make a vow together to invite it in. Lay here for a bit; listen to it.

 

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.”

― Walt Whitman