A 20 something’s guide to an anxious mind

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[My Discover weekly on Spotify this week was totally on point. ]

 

 

Welcome to another guide for our 20 something confused souls. You can find my other guides here: Guide to adultingGuide: 20 something mythsGuide to housework.

 

I pretend to be an expert and you read on foolishly! [ Kidding, I am a complete expert on this actual topic of anxiety. So, no worries. ]

 

If you are in your 20’s, my  guess is that your mind is like  a constant hamster wheel, squeaking obnoxiously in the middle of the night, when you were just about to hit your deepest sleep, only to be awakened by every thought of every possible scenario imaginable.

 

I’m with you, I hear you. 

 

I’m here to offer you a guide to navigating the hamster wheel mind of being in your 20’s.

 

First of all, is it any wonder we have minds running a mile a minute?! We have to think about: student loans, jobs to pay off those student loans, having jobs that are meaningful and that we like, moving out of our parent’s house, surviving on our own, learning how to cook, clean, pay bills, balance our work lives and our personal lives[ I swear this is a learning process forever]….etc, etc.

 

Here is my guide to:

A 20 something’s anxious mind: 

  • Drown your worries in Netflix, blogging, music-whatever your vice is. [As long as it’s healthy. ]  Honestly, you may not want to hear it, but exercise is great too.

The trick is- you need to distract your mind. Find that hobby that makes all of your worries [or at least most of them] go away. 

For me personally,blogging has been therapeutic for me. More than I ever thought it would be. Also, the gym has been very relaxing too- I learned to look forward to getting my anxieties out while running and working out to music.

  • Remember that most people are as nervous as you and don’t know what they are doing, either.

It’s true.

  • Revel in the fact that you are young, have the world in front of you, and have time to figure it out. Revel in the fact that no time figuring it out is wasted. 

Sure, time is precious. But time learning who we are and becoming who we are I think is a necessary process as a young adult. If not now, when?

  • Also, they say it’s about the journey, not the destination.

Frolic about in the fields,  in your buzzed confusion, while taking in the scenes surrounding you. Notice everything. Realize that you are a small fragment of this world, but a huge part of the lives of those you love and connect with. See that this is what matters most in the scheme of things. 

  • Most of all I think- accept and trust your path and the uniqueness that it brings.

Know that it’s completely okay to drift apart from the “norm” and the anticipated path that many take.

I think a lot of our anxieties in our 20’s come from comparing ourselves to others. We know it’s not heathy, but we subconsciously do it anyway. Remember that a Facebook picture tends to hide the struggles going on beneath the surface- comparing ourselves to others without knowing the true story is just mis-leading.

  • Canceling plans is okay…just don’t make a habit of it.

If you don’t feel like leaving your pajamas and your dog, that’s fine. But if it gets to the point of where it is an unhealthy anxiety-avoidance cycle or you find yourself isolating, that’s when it’s not okay.

 

Do you have any other tips that work for you personally?

Thanks for reading! XOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Favorite fashion of Downton Abbey

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I’ve talked about my love for Downton Abbey before, but not so much my love for Downton fashion. In addition to the addicting binge worthy drama of the show, the complicated relationships, and the interest in an older era- the fashion of the show is extremely well done, too.

 

I have reached the final season of the show [cries], I am not going to know what to do with myself when it’s over….however, I have been neglecting Shameless, so I am excited to get back to that once I have finished Downton.

 

I have enjoyed waiting to see what the cast will wear next. It is also fun to see the change in their styles over the seasons- going from much more traditional to the flapper style in the 20’s.

 

Lady Mary Crawley

My favorite has to be Lady Mary Crawley’s wardrobe. She wears a lot of beads, lace, hats, hair brooches, and long gloves. 

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I especially loved Lady Mary’s  choker here along with her black embroidered lace dress…..

She wears the flapper-esque style later on in the seasons stunningly, too.

The bottom one here is one of my favorite’s from the 20’s era of the show on her- look at all of that gold!

 

 

But don’t be fooled, Lady Mary does not only sit down for lovely fancy dinners and sit drinks- she is a rider, too.

 

And her riding outfits are equally as charming and unique.

 

 

Lady Mary definitely takes the prize for best dressed Crawley.

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Lady Edith Crawley

 

If you watch the show [which I highly recommend you do and after this post you might really want to] then you know that Lady Mary and Lady Edith don’t exactly get along, even though they are sisters.

 

They are very different- and you can see that in their fashion as well.

 

Lady Edith is much more liberal and less traditional than Mary and seemed to fall into the flapper-esque style quicker than she did.

 

However, she is my second favorite fashionista. And I embrace their differences.

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Velvet, anyone? Via:

I love everything in this picture on her- the coat, hat, and boots:

This may have been an Edith favorite of mine.

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       Lady Cora Crawley 

 

As mother of Edith and Mary and countess of Downton Abbey, Cora’s style is a bit older and more sophisticated.

 

All the less, I still adore it.

These last two are Cora favorites of mine. That medieval styled dress and this jacket are just beautiful.

 

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I suppose if we all had our own lady’s maids to dress us each morning and night, we would look this stunning all day too!

 

 

What were your favorite looks?

 

And if you have not yet watched, get going, so we can chat about it!

 

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March 23, 2016: National Puppy Day!

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Happy National Puppy Day!

 

“Happiness is a warm puppy.”
― Charles M. Schulz

 

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We got Lily girl when she was 6 months old- we adopted her from a man who had 2 dogs already and worked a lot, so did not have enough time to care for her. Our strong mama is 13 now.

 

We bred her and we kept one of the pups, our Daisy, whose almost 7 now [sheds tears]…:

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Let me tell ya bout my best frandddddd.

 

You can read more about their “tough” lives here. 

 

I’m so blessed to have them in my life.

 

I’d love to hear about your pups! 

 

 

Saturday Celebrates

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Drink up baby ; look at the stars

 

 

Saturday was a busy day! It was mama’s birthday and my friend Kaela’s 25th!

 

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Mom just posted about her birthday here

I got her this grafted weeping pussy willow and she really loved it! She’s excited to plant this little baby in the ground and watch him grow.

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Mama went off to dinner with her sweetie and I headed to Kaela’s 25th party…

Here’s the birthday girl in all her glory!

 

She’s a new blogger and an amazing writer- check her out here: Blog

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She worked really hard on her party and her humble little abode showed it so well!

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The baked goods were from Milk Bar in NYC– YUM.

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A great time was had by all, much Bowie was played and Sangria was drank, and I felt honored to be a part of such a big day!

 

After this I went to an indoor circus event at a club that we had tickets for. I didn’t take any pictures of that because they did not allow photography-

Here is the flyer for the event though-

Clowns, dances, and fire, oh my! [ No animal circus, don’t worry!]

 

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Watch our time lapse video of the party here…

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A video posted by kaela d. smith (@kaelalasmith) on Mar 19, 2016 at 9:52pm PDT

 

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What did you all do this weekend?

The BIG Happy Planner!

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Hey guys! Happy Saturyay!

 

I woke up really tired for some reason- didn’t sleep great, had some bad dreams and night sweats. Anyone else get those? They are horrible…

 

Anyway- I have a day full of plans today, which is kind of rare for me. It’s mama’s birthday- so I’m spending some time with her before I head off to my friend’s 25th birthday party and then an indoor circus event [without animals] at this really cool club.

 

Pretty exciting!  What do you all have planned for the weekend? 

 

So if you have been following me for some time now, you may know that I love planning. It helps me stick to a routine, feel more balanced, and I specifically love the 365 Mambi Happy planner.

 

You can get that here: Happy planner site!

 

Soooo… in my past post about spring goals, I talked about wanting to start planning again.

I was going hard with the planning for awhile and then I started using my happy planner solely for work because the stickers and decorating aspect got a little too “busy” and distracting from all of my work things I had to write down and keep track of.

 

I talked about how I wanted to get an Erin Condren planner- which I still want.

 

Little did I know walking into Michaels the other day [for something else completely, by the way,] that I ran across the planning aisle only to see a big version of the Happy planner. You read that right.  Probably the same size or close to the Erin Condren.

 

I couldn’t resist…. I also had a great coupon.

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Yeah…. I went a little crazy…

Stickers, washi tape, dashboard, sticky notes, and page magnets! I ended up paying only about $50 for all of this.

 

Okay, so I got all of this, ran home, super excited. Only to open it up and find out that the planner does not start until July.  July!

 

Ugh. Okay- I have tunnel vision. So of course I looked up month extension pages- which I found out they only have for the smaller version of the planner, not this one yet- this big version was only released this month. Wahhhhhhhh.

 

The planner is beautiful inside, too. I am so excited to start decorating and obsessively planning again and want to use this one as more of a personal planner and journal/scrapbook.

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This section is new and I really like this:

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The pages also seem to be a little bit better quality. Thicker and less easily to come out of the binding system.

I also love the new dashboard pages:

 

So I guess I will have to wait until july…. sigh… I was even thinking about buying the smaller Happy Planner month extensions and sticking them in here, using those for a few months until July. It may be look a little silly, but my other planner mainly stays at work now.

 

Are there any other Happy planners out there?!

 

Games on the watch: Tacoma

 

I’m releasing a new series on my blog called “Games on the watch,” where I’ll chat about games coming out that I will be trying once they are released.

 

A little while ago I introduced gaming to my blog. I talked about my 2 most favorite games of all time Gone Home and Life is strange.

 

The makers of Gone Home are releasing Tacoma spring 2017, but the release date is still not available. Originally they were going to release it this year, but it seems it has been delayed.

 

Like Gone Home, it is a story exploration adventure like series, where you can walk around, pick up objects, and use them as clues to uncover more of the story. My favorite kind of games!

 

The game is set in space, in the year 2088. You work in a space station called Tacoma and come into your first day of work to find your crew all missing. Like Gone Home, you are trying to find out why and where they have gone. Unlike Gone Home, you are in the future instead of in the 90’s. So you won’t have the nostalgia aspect of picking up 90’s paraphernalia, but will be picking up objects you may have to figure out a little… new technology we have never seen. So that will be interesting!

Check out the trailer here:

 

 

Check out the first 5 minutes of early gameplay:

 

 

I  can’t wait!

 

What do you guys think of Tacoma so far?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday: coffee and gratitude

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One of the things I really enjoy about my job is the need to problem solve often. Things come up and I often have to think on my feet.

 

It keeps things interesting- today has definitely been one of those days where things have not gone as planned!

 

Hows your day going?

I hope you woke up happy.

I hope you’re having a good hair day.

I hope you get good news today or your favorite song plays on the radio.

 

 

 

Here’s my gratitude for the day so far:

  • Healthy eating– so far I had a delicious banana berry with ginger and hemp protein powder smoothie and a banana sandwich
  • A job where I can also blog- it’s the little things.
  • A weekend well spent- shopping and lunch with my mom and sister and time spent outside in the garden and the beautiful weather. [working on those spring goals!]
  • Perseverance-a prospect I thought I had may not have worked out. But that doesn’t mean I am giving up on it.
  • Goals-Imagine how  boring it would get spending every Monday doing the same exact thing and not working towards anything new or better?

 

 

 

 

You know what also helps? Coffee.

I recently found the artist Megan Hess– take a look at how amazing she is…

 

This one’s perfect for a rainy day like this…

 

 

 

Spring goals

Listening to: birds, neighbor dog barking, people outside, up and about..

 

It sure is! Spring time is like a new beginning-

A chance for us to bloom where we are planted.

After all, the grass is greener where you water it. 

“Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.”

 

So I have some Spring goals.  I usually do monthly goal posts, but hey- I’m a little late on that one, it’s already almost mid March!

 

  1. Play outside

This one’s obvious but yes!-

Getting outside after the winter when you can smell spring in the air, that just rained on the dirt type of aroma all around us that I wish I could bottle up.

A few weekends ago when we had one of our first really warm days, I helped mama in the garden  and the other day we reached 80 degrees up here in NY and I got to visit the lighthouse!

 

So far so good on this goal. But I really want to:

snail.jpg Do more hikes

snail Find new abandoned locations to photograph and explore

snail Run once a week at the park with my pup- I’ve been good on my gym goal of going once a week consistently, but I want to add another day every week of outdoor exercise

snailGarden more with mom- it is a different kind of therapy altogether getting your hands in the dirt and planting

snail Have a picnic and spring camp

snail Buy a kayak- being on the water is one of my absolute favorite things to do

 

 

2. Meditate outside

 

Meditation has fallen out of my self care and routine for awhile now. It’s crazy how we know things are good for us, yet we fail to do them, right?

When I do meditate, my favorite sounds to listen to are crickets [mom calls them night peepers] and water sounds. I  usually have to find them online out of season, but meditating outside- you have all of those sounds actually around you.

 

 

3. Begin planning again

 

You may know that I love planning– but I have recently fallen off of my planning game, too.

Mostly because I started using my happy planner solely for work and believe it or not, the stickers got distracting for me… probably because I completely went a bit, well, crazy.

I want a separate planner for my personal planning where I can go crazy with stickers, since my personal planner won’t be as full of events/things to do as my work one gets.

Planning out my days helps me keep to a routine and helps keep me balanced. 

I have been lusting hard  over an Erin Condren planner for quite some time now.

 

Particularly, this one:

 

How perfect for spring and summer- well actually you can’t go wrong with seahorses any time of the year. It just makes me happy to look at it.

They are 20 percent off right now on the site… so I may have to take the plunge.

Then I can deck it out with stickers, washi tape, etc. as much as I want to :- )

 

 

What goals do you have for this spring?

 

 

 

 

 

 

A visit to the lighthouse

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80 degrees in March today. In upstate NY.  And I couldn’t have been happier! 

Last night and today I heard and saw geese flying North. Was sitting on the porch with mama the other night on our swing-it’s here!

We took a visit to the lighthouse after work

I took a lot of pictures!

03094068.JPG03094092.jpgI had my handsome man along with me, who loved being photographed every step along the way. [sarcasm.] 

 

Of course, it was handy to have him there as my photographer, too. I was so happy it was unusually warm out that I got to wear the dress I got in my last thrift haul!

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Lots of pups on the beach!

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Our carving from last summer…

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I love the way the grass looks near the lighthouse. 

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The sunset caught us on the way out to end the day perfectly…

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A heartfelt thank you

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[I love this. Thanks again, Spotify weekly. ]

 

Yesterday, I reached a blogging milestone. Tiny in the blogging world, but big to me, we reached 100 followers!  I am currently drinking a margarita to celebrate.  

Does this mean people are reading, maybe even relating, a little bit?! Wow.

The relating part means more to me- if I write something that someone can relate to, even a little bit, I could end this blog tomorrow and be happy.

Just kidding, that’s a lie…I am loving blogging too much to do that.

I actually never thought I would be this consistent with a hobby. I quit step dancing when I was a kid, piano, etc. after a few weeks.

The thing is – this has kind of become more than just  a hobby to me. Not sure when that happened, but it did.

 

So I wanted to say a true thank you to anyone that has read, commented, followed, offered me insight or advice, and related in some way to what I have had to say.

 

Most of all I want to say thank you to my mama and my sissy who have inspired me to blog- I saw them both blogging and wanted to start one of my own. We are a blogging family and I got inspired!