November Gratitude ; Week 1

Listening now…

 

 

It’s that time of year again.

Everyone is gearing up for the holidays, getting cozy, and feeling those Sweet November vibes.

 

 

And while most of the world is skipping over Thanksgiving and running right to Christmas (I know guys I get it, it’s the absolute best and I myself am guilty of watching Christmas movies earlier this year….sorry!) I like to stop and reflect on my gratitude.

 

 

For the past 3 years on this little blog, I have done November gratitude posts. Looking back on my posts, this one hurts my heart, as it was our very last Thanksgiving with my dear papa.

 

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Speaking of gratitude, I’ll always be thankful for the Lessons my papa taught me.

 

Re reading them over and reflecting on this past year (this is another reason we love the holidays) they ring more true than ever.

 

Yes, it really has been quite the year. In so many good and changing ways.

 

My November Gratitude ; Week 1:

 

99835A0C-0E82-4CAD-9CD6-7F06071BFF50The amazing support I have gotten from my family and friends while starting my business. Go read my last post where I talk about that journey!

 

Starting a business is not by any means easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it! Having a good support system is completely vital to succeed. Frankie has gone above and beyond in being patient with me while we waited to reap the benefits (and see the kind of profit we need to see) to keep me going.

Along with that, he has been SUPER patient while he has been watching me turn our upstairs room into my office and understands that re-selling items means I need to have a fully stocked inventory ; )

 

 

99835A0C-0E82-4CAD-9CD6-7F06071BFF50Being able to do what I love, work from home, and receiving those love notes once buyers receive their items. It makes me so happy to see that people love these items as much as I do because I pick each and every one out so carefully!

 

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Follow my Shannysells instagram page!

You can also follow my journey here on Youtube.

I do a lot of thrift hauls, what sold videos, and vlogs! I just finished doing Vlogtober and had SO much fun doing that and am ready to take on Vlogmas, where I post a video every day in December. So make sure you are following along so you don’t miss that!

Another Youtube goal I have is to post helpful content such as Poshmark and Ebay selling tips (I did 2 tips videos for Ebay already) that are uncommon/ things you don’t hear about a lot while searching for help. Coming soon!

 

99835A0C-0E82-4CAD-9CD6-7F06071BFF50I’m so grateful to be spending the holidays for the first year in our new home!

 

 

I am already thinking of ideas to decorate for Christmas and cannot wait to scroll through other blogs and Pinterest for inspiration…!

 

Do you guys already have Christmas decor ideas?

 

99835A0C-0E82-4CAD-9CD6-7F06071BFF50I’m grateful for food in my belly, a beautiful and warm home, and having enough money to pay all of my bills.

 

A simple thing yet something we take for granted, isn’t it? To be honest with you guys, a couple of things recently have dramatically changed the way I think about money: losing my job this June, and now making my own money with my business.

This has taught me some extremely valuable lessons: Nothing is guaranteed, even “stable” 9-5 jobs, it is completely up to you how much money you earn and save, and the amount you make will completely depend on how much work you put in.

With my jobs prior, I was making that paycheck every week and since I knew it was coming, I took advantage of it and I was not good at saving money for a rainy day. Now that I work for myself and my income is dependent on the work I put in, the money I am not investing back into the business, or using to pay my bills, gets put away in savings.

I’m truly grateful for the lessons this has taught me!

I think a lot of people are afraid to start a business because of the uncertainty of it but to me from my past experiences, this somehow feels more stable to me because I am in control of it. I have also learned that the uncertainty is not near as scary when you have savings put aside. When you are thinking ahead and know to put away for those less than stellar sales weeks (or restaurant days, whatever that business may be!) it suddenly seems much more do-able as a long term option.

 

99835A0C-0E82-4CAD-9CD6-7F06071BFF50I’m grateful for Lifetime Christmas movies.

 

YES I STARTED OKAY. I’m sorry mama! I never watch before Thanksgiving but… this year…is just different. I think because we have our first Christmas in the house coming up and that is so exciting!

So we don’t have cable- but we do have Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu live. We just recently got Hulu live because we don’t have cable and it’s amazing! So while I don’t have Hallmark, I’m so thankful we at least have Lifetime!

 

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Another thing I am grateful for is anyone who still reads my blog, even through all of the ups and downs! I was working hard on my Youtube for awhile but am not ready to blog once a week again and I have so many ideas!

 

What are you feeling grateful for this November?

 

 

 

 

 

 

My journey to reselling full time @ Shannysells & starting a business

Listening now…

 

 

Hey October and hey to anyone still out there!

Wow how time flies…especially summers. Especially summers where you don’t blog at all and then talk about how time flies, hahaha!

 

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I have been waiting to write this post until I was ready and felt confident enough to say that I finally feel like I know what I am doing. It truly takes time to come to who you really are.

The long and the short story is that in June of this year, I left my job at Etsy and started re-selling on Poshmark, Ebay, and Mercari full time as my job. Needless to say, I have been pretty busy with this, hence the blog hiatus!

 

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The loss of my job was sudden and unexpected. But I decided to use this time to do something I have thought about doing in the past but never thought that I truly had the “time” for. Time is really what we make of it, isn’t it?

For those of you who don’t know, there is a whole community of people out there who buy used clothing, shoes, etc. at thrift store, yard sales, basically wherever we can find the good stuff, and we resell it for a profit! I already had a love for thrifting since age 18, so this part of it wasn’t new to me, but there is so much more involved in it than that.

I have been working harder than I ever had at previous jobs, making decent money, but would love to make more! My profits are increasing every month and I am learning so much about the reselling business. Even though I am technically working harder and more hours, it doesn’t feel like work because I love it. I love finding new homes for unique items that I picked out and finding them a new life!

I have been selling on Poshmark since 2017 but never thought it could be a career until I did my research. There are so many amazing people out there on Youtube, Instagram, etc who are such amazing resources to learn from!

My goal is to eventually make enough to donate to a new animal charity each month and sponsor volunteer days to help out, as well as with pet therapy programs (Obviously this idea can change and evolve, we will see what happens!)

P.S.– I have a youtube channel now and I am doing Vlogtober! I also chat about reselling and make videos like what sold, thrift hauls, and more. Please follow me on there, I would truly appreciate it!

 

Follow me on my Youtube journey here.

Watch my latest Vlogtober video here…

I love using music and pictures together to create a feeling, just like with my blog. I have really been enjoying the process of editing videos!

 

 

If you like my fashion posts, you may really like my vlogs, where I go thrifting and show you what I got!

Also follow my Poshmark closet here.

Follow Shannysells Instagram, too! @Shannysells handle

I have over 600 active listings right now, 400 on my Ebay store, and I list new items daily. So if you are ever looking for something, I may have it, or can find it for you!

 

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I have watched my numbers (I talk a bit about my numbers in my latest Vlogtober video posted tonight, October 7th) and sales go up every month. I also have increased my Poshmark followers and continue to learn every day how to make more sales by changing my strategies, adjusting brands I am picking up, and being flexible with the change of seasons and fashions.

I especially love picking up vintage home items to sell on Poshmark- like this wicker bunny rabbit I picked up recently! How cute is he?!

 

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Take Mr. Bunny home here

 

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Or this vintage belt from 1978…

 

Now that things have calmed down quite a bit and I am figuring everything out (I was literally just starting to get used to a new routine when I left Etsy, routine is super important for me) I really want to integrate my blog, Youtube, and reselling business all together.

It’s fall and that is my favorite time to blog & I just need to sit down and write once a week (at least) and continue the love for blogging I have had all along.

Thank you guys for reading. I will be back!

“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel

 

 

Summer style board via my Poshmark wardrobe

Listening now…

 

Well…I’m back!

 

For this post, I wanted to keep it light and sweet, just like your summer iced tea.

 

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All of these items are for sale right now over in my Poshmark closet- Shannysells.

Or if you prefer, they are also listed over on Ebay- Shannysells.

 

 

Summer Style Inspiration #1-

 

Motorcycle Chick

 

 

Free People American Flag Lace tank-size small

Harley-Davidson Embroidered Long Sleeve- size medium

Rag & Bone Brown Suede & leather moto boots- size 7

Machine Novelle mode acid wash moto distress jeans- size 26 in.

Vintage Paris Blues Bird embroidered mini skirt- size 7

 

 

Vintage leather torquoise emblem festival belt-38 inches

Rock & Republic NWT tie dye faux leather jacket-size XS

Free People high rise busted knee distress jeans-size 29 inch

Topshop Moto Black short overalls-size 2

Torrid bad luck ladder front graphic t shirt-size 2X

Serious clothing (LA boutique) denim star skirt Serious-size S

 

Summer Style Inspiration # 2: Jungle Vibes

 

 

Akemi + Kim Anthropologie Tiger embroidered shirt-size S

Havana Jacks Cafe Floral Hawaain tie shirt-size XL

Chico’s Additions by Chico’s Safari Zebra shirt size 2x

Enjoi panda skateboard grey zip up hoodie-size s

H&M conscious collection tropic toucan shift dress size 4

Busch Gardens Animal Tiger khaki color hat

 

Summer Style Inspiration # 3: Festival Forever

You can be at a festival all summer long if you want…

 

 

Electro Threads Namaste Yoga Meditation tank top size s

Nordstrom festival smiley face romper size s

Festival rave galaxy Racerback skater dress size s

Young Fabulous & Broke multi color ombre open top Young Fabulous & Broke size s

Owl festival boho aztec shirt size L

Wolf dreamcatcher festival boho racerbank tank size M

American Eagle Boho Artist distressed flare jeans size 0

 

Summer Style Inspiration # 4: Light and Airy

 

 

Flax 100 % Linen oversized dress with pockets-size S

Silence + Noise Urban Outfitters frayed tank XS

Cloth & Stone Anthropologie Chambray dotted tank size S

Band of Gypsies multicolored stripe tank dress size S

Rebellion eyelet cold shoulder bell sleeve top size M

Mara Hoffman cutout braided tank top size 4

 

Summer Style Inspiration # 5: Playing outside, going campin’

 

 

Route 66 vintage Pioneer Express Roadtrip bag

Sundance butterfly t shirt size S

Simple nwt outdoor adventure sneakers M 5/ W 6.5

Boss by I.G. Design mens fish button down shirt size M

Evvergreen hipster indie band graphic t shirt

Black bear summer trails hiking/camp shirt size S

Upstate NY Upstately evergreen trucker hat

Mens Junip deer band graphic t shirt

Jeep J-41 NWT leather & faux fur hiking shoes 🤙 Jeep size W 8.5

 

If you like anything, remember prices are not final and I love offers!

 

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What are your favorite inspirations for your summer style?

 

Thanks for reading! XOXO

Remember to follow me on Instagram @shannysells, where I post daily style and shop updates, as well as daily life and tips & tricks of the reseller life!

 

 

 

Spring outfits of the day

Listening now…

 

Guys, spring is so sprung right now~!

I think I am enjoying this May more than ever. I love watching the trees bloom around town and our backyard!

 

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Do you see the bird nest behind the Lilac bush? Mom- you were right, we have a beautiful Lilac bush!

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With this beautiful weather, comes the perfect time to bring out your favorite spring outfits.

Sorry not sorry ahead of time for my silly bathroom pics. I do feel like it keeps it more “real” with these, though. To all the bloggers out there that just have a professional photographer following them around all day to capture their looks….I’m just not about that life. Although I love doing a good photoshoot every now and then!

 

Boat shirt, capris, and moccasins:

 

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All 3 items were #thrifted

 

Shorts and tights

 

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Vintage Plaid dress

 

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I haven’t actually worn this yet but I can’t wait to.

 

High waisted parachute pants, Keds, and wicker bag

 

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Camo overalls,  glasses, and hoop earrings

 

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Black Jumpsuit with cropped stripe shirt

 

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This time taken in my very own bathroom!

 

Camo leggings, oversized sweater, slip on shoes

 

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Striped shorts, cropped grey tank, and my Tuk leopard platform shoes

 

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#Stripesandleopard

Floral Jumpsuit

 

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20 somethings guide to finally being on your own

Listening now…

 

I’m writing this post because as humans, we have to laugh at ourselves.

I lived with my mom until this year, at 27, when we just bought our house.

Don’t get me wrong- while I lived at home all this time, I helped my mom out with chores, rent, etc. I was always taught and raised in such a way that if you were to live at home- you were also to help out, always be working and/ or in school, and to earn your keep.

But there are still learning curves even after seeing your mom do things around the house for your whole life.

 

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#LOL

 

 

This is a list of actual things I did that I had to laugh about after.

I’m hoping someone can learn from my funny moments.

 

Pasta

 

1.) When making pasta with pre-made sauce, simply putting the cold sauce in after the pasta is cooked is not enough to make a warm dinner. Also, simply mincing (yes I actually know what that means!) up garlic and throwing it into said pasta won’t be enough to spruce it up and may result in chewing on garlic.

 

Clothesline

 

2.) When bringing in clothes from the clothesline, don’t walk down the clothesline, instead of bringing it to you….like the clothesline is intended to do.

 

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Curtains are the devil

 

3.) Shopping for curtains will be the most stressful thing. Ever. Be prepared for that. More stressful than dishing out thousands of dollars for a down payment, than saying goodbye to your family and dogs, and the normal stressors of buying a house or being on your own.

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For me, this meant 3 trips to the store, after repeatedly buying the wrong sizing. Once I finally bought the proper size/length, I didn’t buy enough of them, which resulted in having to order more off of Amazon, and then when they arrive….. the top of them are not the same as the others, which have holes on the top… sigh.

Also… changing out the curtain rod in our bedroom today we managed to drop the biggest one right. onto. our. plant. He was literally decapitated… he is now soaking in a vase of water and I’m hoping he survives the curtain mayhem.

 

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Plants

 

4.) Speaking of plants….why is one of my majesty palms dying, while the other chooses to live?

 

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I re-potted one of them in with soil meant for cactus and palms and since then, he has been declining.

Side note- buying a plant you love in the store before doing any research on it at all is probably not the best idea. This article tells me I may not be the only one having trouble!

 

Compromise?

 

5.) Going to the flea market with your boyfriend will not prevent him from bringing home horse paintings. Be prepared for that.

When living together, compromise is vital. Also, thank God we have a garage where this horsey will live.

 

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Your new hobbies

 

6.) The things you used to make fun of your mom for back in the day….you will now do and love. Embrace your new home hobbies.

My mom used to have this CD in her car that played bird sounds and then after they played the sound, the woman’s very calming voice would say something like, “that is the sound of a morning dove.” I used to think it was so funny that my mom listened to bird sounds in her car instead of music.

Now… one of the first things I did when we moved in was find a bird feeder hanging on the tree near our house and fill it up. I love watching the birds in the morning and snapping shots of them, as well as seeing new birds and hearing their sounds.

 

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Do you have any funny stories about being on your own for the first time?

Share with me! 

 

 

 

 

Summer Home Inspiration

Listening now…

 

 

 

Frankie and I really want a bench by our door like this, it’s just a matter of finding one small enough since the entryway is not as open!

 

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Seedling on Apple iOS 10.3

 

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Yes yes yes to everything here. The rugs, the plant in the basket, the stump, those pillows!

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Another goal: bench at the end of the bed. This picture really makes me reconsider getting a cast iron headboard too… we were thinking of getting a pallet headboard….thoughts?

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Some summer home inspiration from my own humble abode….

 

 

This “Be gentle with yourself” print is from AbbieIllustrations Etsy shop

This Macrame is from Ocean by Nature shop

 

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Lamp and sunflower jar both #thrifted

Ceramic green rain boot planter/jar from Target

This lamp is made out of shells.

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What’s your summer home inspiration?

Currently in April

Listening now…

 

Hard to believe it is already April. It snowed yesterday, some rain and ice mix, but overall next week the weather is looking up, yay!

 

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Currently listening to…

Thanks sis for letting me know she had a new album. My favorite songs on the album, “The Bones” (above!), “Great ones,” “A song for everything,” and “To hell and back.” But they are all great and oh so perfect for listening with your windows down in the car when the spring weather arrives! 🙂

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A few reasons I love the song “The bones” so much…

We’re in the homestretch of the hard times
We took a hard left, but we’re alright
Yeah, life sure can try to put love through it, but
We built this right, so nothing’s ever gonna move it
When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter
Let it rain ’cause you and I remain the same
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation
Baby, I know any storm we’re facing
Will blow right over while we stay put
The house don’t fall when the bones are good

Frankie and I have been together a long time. It will be 10 years this December! We started dating when I was 18 (now 27) and he was 21 (now 30)

We just bought a house and it talks about the bones of a house (symbolic of their love) being so good, it won’t crack, even when life tries to test it.

This song is a reminder that when the foundation of your love and friendship is there, yes life gets hard, but it will work the way it’s meant to, as long as you both work at it.

Also listening to…

Podcasts.

I don’t think I talked about this in my blog yet. Mostly because…. my blog has been slacking for some time. I may have mentioned that I got into listening to audiobooks recently, which I still love, but I’m not sure why it took me so long to get into podcasts!

I love podcasts about real life mysteries and murders.

Right now, I’m listening to “Cold.

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It’s a true life murder story of Susan Powell, who goes missing, and the main suspect is her very strange husband Josh Powell. I’m only on episode 6 so tbd how this turns out, but I suspect Josh is bipolar, as he frequently made binge purchases and seems to be experiencing episodes of mania at times. Josh was an extremely controlling husband and Susan even warned her co workers that if something happened to her, to “look to Josh first.”

The thing I love about this podcast is the real life clips of their actual voices, like when Susan was instructed by her lawyer to videotape her assets in their house. You can actually see the video here. She just sounds so defeated in the recording, and makes a statement of “Hope everything works out and we’re all happy and live happily ever after…as much as that’s possible.”

It’s just a very binge worthy podcast, highly recommend.

Side note: some of my other fave podcasts recently: Dr. Death, Dirty John, and Believed.

Podcasts and audiobooks are an awesome way to get through cleaning your house and chores!

Currently doing…

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House stuff. And having so much fun doing it!

I love being a homeowner and watching it grow with us. One of my favorite things about our house is we live across from a campground that has a lake so we hear a lot of geese in the early mornings (and throughout the day) and the peepers and crickets at night are amazing. So loud! Last night it was icy out and I still heard them in the distance.

We also get amazing birds and other wildlife! Yesterday I saw an entire family of Robins searching for worms after the rain for their babies.

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We also get some amazing sunrise and sunsets. Here you can see the lake across the way too!

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Some updates…

We painted our bedroom a light very calming Sage color.

It took us so long to pick a color but I’m so glad we took our time!

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#Ihatetheseblinds but they are temporary…

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We ordered a couch and a table, but they won’t be here for 6-8 weeks.

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We ordered this really pretty Kincaid Farmhouse table with 2 benches. It also extends to be much longer if you need it.

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We ordered this La-Z-Boy grey sofa. It’s so comfy and can go with anything!

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Frankie’s mama has been gracious enough to lend us her couch while we wait! We’ll need to look into a coffee table too, but for now, we have Frankie’s.

I found lights in the garden shed, never opened,  (I love free) and hung them in the kitchen and outside. 

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#Palmtree #WoodyGuthrielyrics

Little things…

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Thank you mama for the curtains. I love lace!

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This is actually an apron I loved that I put in a shadow box #Catskills #Hudsonvalley #UpstateNY #Myhome #Mountainlife Made by Beatrice Berg

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See this table behind my wine glass? I found that on the side of the road!

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I found this glass pitcher at a flea market today. #Anotherpalm #Yeswehavetwo

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That sand in there is from our Greece trip

Currently watching…

I haven’t had a lot of time lately to watch shows, but when I do, these are my favorites right now.

Just started- The OA: Part 2

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I can’t tell you a lot because I just started but I did love season 1!

Northern Rescue

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This show is actually pretty cheesy but I can’t get enough of it.

After his wife dies, search and rescue commander John West uproots his three children, moving the family from Boston to his rural hometown of Turtle Island Bay. The death affects each of their lives as John and his kids cope with their loss. Along the way, John faces situations that challenge him personally and professionally while his offspring deal with typical issues that face kids and teenagers, including school and friendships.

A lot of the reason I like this show is because they live in an aquarium and there’s a penguin that just happened to still be there named Tux.

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What have you been currently loving this April? 

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Renny’s bed moves on the daily…by him.

 

Welcome Home

Listening now…

 

You have to listen to this adorable cover of Home.

 

I am here to report that we BOUGHT A HOUSE!

This has been a long time coming and if you follow me for awhile, you may have seen our house hunting horrors.  That post was more for fun, but really we did also have a lot of adventures along the way.

There were also house hunting heartbreaks and oh so many life lessons. As I sit here writing this and watch Renfield sleeping on his bed soundly in our living room, listening to John Denver on our Alexa (YAY I FINALLY HAVE FAST WIFI!) and listening to the wind outside, I realize it was all worth it.

It has a porch with a wraparound deck I am in love with, a pool, 6.7 acres, a garage with a pellet stove, built in bar and pool table, and even a heated dog house with a fenced area I can’t wait to fill with animals.

 

 

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fridge

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Thanks to Etsy for my free awesome lamp. ❤

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I want to thank Mountainmama for her support always and for her visit today. Thanks for putting up with me for 27 years and teaching me your ways when it comes to making a home! ❤

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Thanks mommy for the card. Our favorite movie… ❤

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More to come on this journey….

 

 

Spring Fashion Inspiration

Listening now…

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely getting ready for some spring action here. (I say this as it snows outside)

 

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Last year we did our fashion spring inspiration post with Warby Parker.

 

2019 Spring Fashion Inspiration

Matching sets.

 

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Wicker Bags.

I just bought one and can’t wait!

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Spring and Summer, I’m waiting for ya.

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Long Skirts.

 

Asymmetrical skirts and Bell sleeves.

 

 

Wide Legged Pants.

 

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Obsessed.

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Skirts with Sweaters.

 

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Gingham.

 

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White Jeans and neutral colors.

 

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Spring Jumpsuits.

 

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Long dress, sneakers, and leather jacket.

 

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Capris.

 

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By the way… I am about to list a very cute pair of almost brand new white converse just like these on my Poshmark– stay tuned!

 

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Grid Pattern.

 

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I’ll be here waiting Spring…….

 

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Love and some verses

Listening now…

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

My first blog on Tumblr (and first blog ever) was called Love and some verses, named after the infamous Iron and Wine album. I still love this band so very much and listen to them just to calm myself down. They just have that effect on me and their lyrics give me goosebumps.

 

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Love is a dress that you made

Long to hide your knees

Love to say this to your face

I love you only

For your days and excitement

What will you keep for to wear?

Someday drawing you different

May I be weaved in your hair

Love and some verses you hear

Say what you can say

Love to say this in your ear

I’ll love you that way

From your changing contentment

What will you choose for to share?

Someday drawing you different

May I be weaved in your hair

 
 

I never kept up with it, of course, but I still loved the name and think about it from time to time.

Thinking about that little blog tonight, I got inspired to write.

To be honest with you readers, I have not been very inspired to blog lately.

I’m not sure why that is…but when I am not feeling it, I’m just not going to force it. Those posts always come off as insincere and scripted to me. I write from the heart- always have and always will.

 

 

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to share love and some verses with you all in this post.

I wrote about the book Carrie read in the Sex and the City movie “Love letters of Great men” in my Valentine post.  (Honestly this post makes me cringe and I need to fix it because this was clearly before I learned the important of centering text…)

I will be sharing some of these verses of love with you from this book.

 

Love and some verses…

 

” I love you. That is all I know. But all I know, too, is that I am writing into space: the kind of dreadful, unknown space I am just going to enter. I am going to Iowa, Illinois, Idaho, Indindiana, but these, though mis-spelt, *are* on the map. You are not. ”

-Dylan Thomas

 

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I am restless; and a man’s restlessness always means a woman; and my restlessness means Ellen. ”

 

-Unknown

 

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“ Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you.  How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been!  How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm.  But I cannot.  I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.”

 

                                                         

-Unknown

 
 
 

 

December 1795

” I awake full of you. Your image and the intoxication of last night give my senses no rest.

Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart. Are you angry? Do I see you sad? Are you worried? My soul breaks with grief, and there is no rest for your lover; but how much the more when I yield to this passion that rules me and drink a burning flame from your lips and your heart? Oh! This night has shown me that your portrait is not you!

You leave at midday; in three hours I shall see you.

Meanwhile, my sweet love, a thousand kisses; but do not give me any, for they set my blood on fire. “

-Napoleon

 

 

” …I am at Port Maurice, near Ognelia; tomorrow I reach Albenga. The two armies are moving, trying to outwit each other. Victory to the cleverer. I am pleased with Beauliu; he maneuvers well and is stronger than his predecessor. I will beat him soundly, I hope. Don’t be frightened. Love me like your eyes; but that is not enough: like yourself, more than yourself, than your thoughts, your life, all of you. Forgive me, dear loe, I am raving; Nature is frail when one feels deeply, when one is loved by you…”

Bonaparte

-Napoleon

 

 

” Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters.”

 

-Voltaire

kiss

 

 

 ” …Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us – I can live only wholly with you or not at all – Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirit…”

“…Be calm – love me – today – yesterday – what tearful longings for you – you – you – my life – my all – farewell. Oh continue to love me – never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
 ever ours “

 

-Beethoven

 

 

mom and kev

 

My mom and dad met on 1/ 6/ 86. My mom was 17 and Kevin was 22. Kevin was a bus driver in the city and my mom was riding the bus that day. His badge number was 554 ; little did she know how much that number would come to mean over the years. After his passing, she would see that number show up-on clocks, in random passings, possibly making no sense at all while also making the most sense in the world to her.

They had a December wedding ; my mom loved Christmas and still does. They had 2 daughters and a little brick home in Long Island. My mom was overjoyed to make that home ours and took pride making flea market finds into treasures we would have for many years to come.

The years ahead were not easy. People often said it was like the world was too much for Kevin. When I ask my mom to tell me about my dad, clinging to any semblance of knowing him at all, she tells me that he had particular ways about him. He would obsess over his hair or clothes. He was coping with his own mental health issues, along with his own childhood trauma, and was never supported through that growing up. If you want the perfect example of how much good old fashioned parental love can make or break a person, this is it. Kev struggled with his demons, self medicating along the way, until it got too far ahead of him for him to catch his own breath.

My mom did what was best for us. I was 2, my sister, 3. Unfortunately, the addictive lifestyle Kevin lead was ultimately what lead to his leaving us. The sad part is it was not even the addiction itself that did it, but a senseless act of someone else. My sister remembers more about him than I do and sometimes I stick to the 1 memory I have of him and my mom sitting at a kitchen table, because that is all that I have. I wish I could have known you, but for now I’ll watch you at the kitchen table and find meaning in your number when it calls to me ; 554.

ever thine
ever mine
 ever ours

When I asked my mom to sum up the day they met for this post, she stated, “I stepped onto the bus on my way to school and fell in love.”