Starting over

music note.pngListening now….

                         What happens if you want to start over? 

 

My mind is telling me to take a chance, go back to school. I started, that’s a step. [Goals, with gratitude: part 2]

But i want more-   I want to dedicate my time to this.

You know those people who have known they have wanted to be a doctor, a veterinarian, whatever it may be, since they were a little kid? As long as they can remember.

That was never me. 

Figuring out what I want to do with my life has been a roller coaster for me, it was never straight forward and is still not. My path has alternate routes I can take- and sudden unpredictable sharp turns that take my mind on a spin daily.

I started out at my community college when I was 18, studying human services. My biological father had bipolar disorder that went untreated and he self medicated, resulting in my sister and I losing out on the opportunity to know who he was- and eventually lose him altogether. This, combined with my insatiable desire to watch as many episodes of Intervention as possible,   I thought I wanted to be an addiction counselor. I thought maybe I can help others who are trying to help their family members not go down the same spiral-and I think in a way I wanted to make Kevin proud, too.

My crooked path went a little something like this:

Human services-Early childhood education-Communication disorders-finished off with sociology because I enjoyed the classes, they were easy, and I wanted to finish my degree and get something.

I think I felt this feeling or urgency, I was 18, everyone was in college, I needed to get a degree. No regrets that I did- I just wish I took more time to sit down and think-

What do I really enjoy? What makes me excited about life and what am I good at?

 

Right now, I work as a case manager in a nonprofit organization. I have learned so much there and I am good at my job. Not just about the job, but about myself too. I have realized something-

I have a tendency to get frustrated with those who don’t help themselves. And although I get my point across, do what I need to do,  and enjoy it a lot of the time,[Very thankful to have a job I like]- People are just not my forte. 

Some people just have that knack for people and saying the right things to get them to open up, sometimes I can succeed at this-but it’s something I work on a lot, because it doesn’t come natural to me like to some others. But these skills, if you can build upon them, you can and will take them everywhere with you.

 

It’s time for me to explore the things I love and I am good at- I would love to do a double major in graphic design and veterinary tech-I took a computer graphics class last winter and really enjoyed it and felt good at what I was doing. I am in a vet tech class right now and feel excited in the class, and find everything I am learning about to be so interesting. I don’t really remember feeling this excited when I was in school before!

 

By the way, Alice always had it right.

We’ve all been there. Have you ever wanted to start over on something? Are you on the path you want to be or because others want you to?

 

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7 thoughts on “Starting over

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